Thursday, February 9, 2012

Tiger Mom Is Not Lord Voldermont

Amy Chua opens up to BW’s Anjana Saproo about how her book is meant to be a satirical look at her parenting skills.


Amy Chua, the author of Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother, is probably the most reviled mom in the US today, after The Wall Street Journal published an excerpt from her book last year under the headline ‘Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior'.  The book, however, has found its sweet share of fans in India as well. Chinese moms worship the ground she walks on; well, sort of. The latter reaction again disturbs Chua. She fears they will take the book as a how-to-parent guide — and that was not the aim of her book anywhere. She claims this was meant to be a satirical look at her parenting skills and the situations that unfolded thereafter but nobody really gets that. Chua opens up to BW's Anjana Saproo and tries to put the record straight.
 
Why did you write the book?
I wrote the book in a moment of crisis when my 13-year-old daughter Lulu rebelled against my strict parenting. The book is very much misunderstood by people who don't read it. I think 90 percent of the people writing about it have not read the entire book, but only the excerpt published by The Wall Street Journal
 
But you find a lot of sympathy among the Indian audiences?
Oh, it has been amazing.  I mean, I did not know much about Indian parenting so I was surprised. I received many supportive e-mails from Indian audiences. Also, the crowds at the festival were very supportive and most importantly, they got the humour of the book. That it so great instead of having people reading the book literally and reacting. It is supposed to be satirical. At least the Indians get it.

Before the book was published, my daughters told me — Mom! no one is going to read it, it is too weird. So, I left my e-mail address on it to make it very public. I thought that people would understand the book to be more literary.  I meant it to be a little more complex.
 Amy Chua, the author of Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother, is probably the most reviled mom in the US today after The Wall Street Journal published an excerpt from her book last year under the headline ‘Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior'.  The book, however, has found its sweet share of fans in India as well. Chinese moms worship the ground she walks on; well, sort of. The latter reaction again disturbs Chua. She fears they will take the book as a how-to-parent guide — and that was not the aim of her book anywhere. She claims this was meant to be a satirical look at her parenting skills and the situations that unfolded thereafter but nobody really gets that. Chua opens up to BW's Anjana Saproo and tries to put the record straight.

Do you think Indians identify with it because our parenting is similar to that of the Chinese?
Yes. I learned this. Indian students in America are at the top. They do better than even the Chinese students and I am always telling my daughters the same.  So, of course, there has to be a pattern of parenting similar to mine because I know what it takes to make it to the top.  Also, Indian students are well-adjusted. You have to understand that I raised my children in America. And the American system already promotes creativity, independence, irreverence, play dates, sleepovers talking, etc. In that context, for me to follow a traditional pattern of parenting is my way of striking the balance.

But in China, the education system is way too authoritarian, too strict, too much rote learning, and does not encourage thinking out of the box. I do not propagate Tiger parenting there. If I were in China I would, rather, say that children need more freedom, more choice. My book gives a different message depending on whether you are a parent in the East or a parent in the West.
 
Do you think the Americans were outraged because you turned the mirror on their parenting skills and forced them to think about it?
Yes. I have often been wondering about the very strong reaction I got. People would ask —do you care more about the child's success than her happiness? And I am like — it is a no-brainer. I mean if I had to choose between success and happiness, then, of course, I would choose happiness. But the question here is how do you raise children who can later grow to become happy adults. I do not know the right answer to it, which is very complex. And America has a very high rate of teen depression, teen anxiety, teenage substance abuse, and one of the highest rates of teen pregnancies, among developed countries. So, that is not a recipe for happiness either.

The book is openly self-incriminating. For me, the proof is in the pudding. If you look at my girls they are well-adjusted, successful, and yes— happy too. They are vibrant, independent, funny, generous girls. The point I am trying to make is that there are many ways to bring up happy and strong kids. Nobody knows the internal workings of the family. And I am fascist and very hard on myself. And I am not a fascist simply because a fascist is a person who does not take any criticism. The book, itself, is 90 percent self-criticism.

Do you read Indian writers?
I love Indian writers. A Suitable Boy is one of my favourites. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy is another. I also like Jhumpa Lahiri. I recently read The Interpreter of Maladies.

What is next?
Definitely not another parenting book after this. I am planning to go back to academics.


“The Obamas Are A Great American Story”

David Remnick, the editor of The New Yorker and author of The Bridge: The Life and Rise of Barack Obama is a restless soul. He claims he never vacations easy and prefers interactions at places such as the Jaipur Literary Festival, which "are a kick in the butt". BW's Anjana Saproo chats up with him on his life as an editor, his favourite Indian writer and a lot more.
 

David Remnick, the editor of The New Yorker and author of The Bridge: The Life and Rise of Barack Obama is a restless soul. He claims he never vacations easy and prefers interactions at places such as the Jaipur Literary Festival, which "are a kick in the butt". BW's Anjana Saproo chats up with him on his life as an editor, his favourite Indian writer and a lot more.
 

How has the Indian experience been for you?
I was invited and I have not been to India since I was 22 years old, and that was not exactly yesterday. I am particularly interested in meeting Indian writers — the ones that I have heard about and also the ones that I have only vaguely heard about. Actually, I can meet the other authors anywhere else — I do not have to come to India to meet them.
 
How do you juggle the role of an editor, journalist and author?
Well, my main job is being the editor of the magazine. Most of the time is taken up by that and my family. I rarely do reporting nowadays. About 6 weeks ago, I went to Moscow, stayed there for about nine days, and wrote a story rather quickly (It is on the web) and it came out at the time the demonstrations were starting. So for me, that is rare, and doing something like coming to a literature fest is even rarer. But for me, this is much more interesting than going on a vacation. I do not vacation easily, I prefer such kind of interactions. I mean I am sitting here and looking at a beautiful parrot behind you. And where else would my conversation be interrupted by a beautiful cow?
 
Why the Obamas?
Because they are a great American story; and I am interested in race. I did a book on the subject before. It is the central drama of American life in many ways. There is nothing contrived about it. You know this is a guy whose name rhymes with the most despised figure in modern American imagination. He is black and came out of nowhere, and went on to become the President of America. That, to my mind, is a good story.
 
Why are the Americans now disillusioned with Obama?
His personal story becomes a lot less interesting once he becomes the President because the stakes get higher. Governance is not about romance and narratives; it is about hard decisions on war and peace, and dollars and cents, and many other things. Hence the disappointment.
 
Who is your favourite Indian writer?
I am rereading Midnight's Children, and it is an astonishing book. It vibrates with life in so many different directions. And just now I was in the bookstore and saw that there were so many books that I had heard of but had not read. If anything, this festival has been a kick in the butt for me as far as my reading is concerned. I mean we all have shelves full of books that we have not read!

You know we publish a fair number of books by Indian writers and immigrant Indian writers, the most famous being, of course, Jhumpa Lahiri. I feel that she was lucky in one other way — 9 times out of ten when a movie gets done based on a novel, the only good thing about it is the money. But I thought that The Namesake was rather well-made.
 
What are your thoughts on e-books?
I care more about the future of reading. If people are reading, they are availing themselves of countless worlds. But if you do not read you do not. If you are reading e-book as opposed to the printed version I do not mind. I know the choice to read an e-book depends a lot on age and interest — and I get the advantages and disadvantages of both. But if you want to read The New Yorker on your iPad or in print, it is to my advantage, I appreciate the platform.